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How To Make Changes In Life That Last


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There are tons and tons of people all over the world, who try to change their lives, the second you are reading this.

If you already try to change something, what´s important for you in life, you already know, it´s not as easy as it looks.

You already know, that these ads that media shows you, how one person is 100 pounds overweight and suddenly, after a month this person is in better form than the best athletes in the world, are (to say it respectfully) simply not true.

In this article, I want to show you, why did you fail and introduce you to a 5 concepts, that makes this process of changing improving your life much easier.

So, let´s dive in…

 

When Do You Know, You Need To Change?

How do you know, you need to change something in your life? What has to happen, so you finally stand up and say… That´s enough, I can´t do it anymore. I have to change something…

Maybe your health is so bad, so you jeopardize your life. Or, maybe your relationship doesn´t work, you and your partner are not as happy as you´d like to be.

If you live under a tremendous pressure all the time, then you know, it´s probably time to change something in life. It´s different for every one of us.

But, please, don´t make the same mistake, the majority of people do.

Unfortunately, people usually decide to change only when they absolutely have to.

They have to experience pain or some kind of a massive trauma, so they finally decide to do something about their lives.

But, since you are reading this article, I know you want to change something (which is great!) and you´ve already been thinking about what do you want to change.

I just want to encourage you, to take action! Don´t put it away (and wait for a situation to get even worse). It doesn´t make sense. Take action today!

Now, we can move on to the first principle of making a change that lasts.

Start With Why

The first question every person who wants to change something in life, have to be… Why do I want (need) this? 

And some other like… Why do you need to change? What´s the reason? What´s the outcome?

If you don´t answer these type of questions, before you start making a change, 2 things may happen:

–    You won´t make the change you want at all.

–    Or, you make a change you want, but it won´t last for a very long time.

One way or another, you fail to improve your life, it will stay the same (better scenario) or it gets even worse (because of the anger from another failed attempt to make lasting change in your life).

That´s why absolutely crucial for you to know your WHY. Without it, you have no reason to persist, when it´s gonna be hard. But, if you are sure, what´s the power that drives you toward this change, you almost won, already.

Please, don´t underestimate this step. Do it right now. Sit down and think what do you want to change and mainly, why is it so important for you.

To master this process in the future, I highly recommend you to check out this great book – Start With Why from Simon Sinek.

#1 Reason Why You Failed To Change Before

There are more than 7,5 Billion people in this world. Every day, there are millions of people who try to improve their lives. Research showed, that only 8% of people, actually reach their goals. That´s a pretty lousy number, right?

I suppose you already try to change something in your life. Maybe you were successful (if you were – comment below, what strategy did you use?) or maybe you don´t.

Do you know what´s #1 reason why people fail to make lasting change?

–    Identity.

They want to change their life, but they don´t change their identity. Don´t worry, you don´t have to change your name. I mean, identity in terms of the perception of yourself.

In the book Atomic Habits, there was an extraordinary story, that demonstrates this concept:

There were 2 men, who decide to quit smoking. When the first one, was offered a cigarette, he replied…No, thanks, I am trying to quit.

When the second one was offered the same, he replies… No, thanks, I am not a smoker.

The nice difference, right? While the first one really says, I am a smoker, but I am trying to quit (but, I am not sure if I can do it), the second one made a decision to quit smoking and then completely change his thinking of himself.

Now, he is someone, who doesn´t smoke. Period. He changed his identity.

If you were trying to change something in your life, and you failed, it´s probably because you didn´t change your identity. You just wanted to, but, that´s not enough.

This concept is greatly explained in Tony Robbins book – Awaken The Giant WithinTony says this:

„As we develop new beliefs about who we are, our behavior will change to support the new identity.“

So, if you want to develop a new habit, or quit the bad done, start with changing your identity. Then you automatically act in accordance with your new belief of yourself.

You simply use people´s desire to be consistent with their previous decision.

When The Hard Times Come…

If you know your “why” and you change your identity, you should have not struggled to make a change that lasts. But, as you know, nothing ever works like you planned, right?

You can have a bad day in work, a fight with your partner or you might not just be in a mood. There will be hard times when you want to improve your life. That´s something, I am absolutely sure about.

For example, your goal would be to lose weight.

You wake up in the morning, and you start to think about skipping the gym because you are extremely tired. Or, you go to the restaurant, and you see this big hamburger and coke waving at you.

What do you do, then? I think, there are 2 powerful ways, how to overcome this:

1 – Have your big outcome in mind

So, if you started because you wanted to have a six-pack and look great on the beach, remind yourself that. Imagine yourself, how you want to look. Imagine, how everyone on this beach looks at you. Try to experience this feeling of you, getting what you want.

Then, you´ll know, how to make the right decision. You´ll know, whether you skip the gym, eat junk food, or you choose to stay on the path toward your goals.

 2 – Have your struggle in mind

That´s the opposite. If you didn´t start to change because of your outcome, you started because of the struggle you´ve had.

To use our health example, let´s say you didn´t decide to change your body because you wanted to look great in a swimming suit. Let´s say, you did it because you´ve had many health problems. Or, people were laughing at you.

What to do then? Simply, remind yourself of all these struggles. Remind yourself, how bad did you feel in the morning, how tired you were all days or how you felt when people were laughing at you, because of your weight.

When you do that, there´s a much higher chance to act in accordance with your new identity and not let a few bad days ruin all the work you put in.

Social Motivation

A few lines above, where we covered the identity principle, we used people´s desire to be consistent with their own decisions.

In this step, we are going to use another desire that forces people to act – desire to avoid embarrassment.

I am sure, you agree with me when I say that you don´t want to be embarrassed or humiliated, right?  And a great way how to make a change that last is to use this horrible feeling in your advantage.

I use the same example, as before. Your health.

Tomorrow morning, you’re supposed to go for a run. But, you wake up so tired, that you don´t even think about getting up, put your running clothes and go out.

In this case, it´s a really a high probability, you won´t go. In other words, a change you were trying to make, didn´t last.

But, let´s say, a day before this “running” morning, you call your friend and ask him to go with you. You agreed that at 6:30 a.m. tomorrow, you´re gonna run together.

What are the odds of you not go for this run? – Much lower.

You don´t want to disappoint yourself, by not going, but you don´t want to disappoint your friend, who´s gonna wait for you. You don´t want to be humiliated and embarrassed for it.

Nobody wants to be a person, who says something and then not do it. Who wants to be around these people? Would you believe this person? Would you like to do business with this person?

Of course not! Nobody wants to be like that, so this tip is really simple.

Just share your intentions with someone. Even if they don´t go with you, just tell them, you´re gonna go. This will force you to not being lazy, and deliver what you promised (to yourself, and to other people).

Become (A Little Bit) Addicted

And last, but not least. How do you create a habit? How do you make a lasting change?

–    Step by step.

Will Smith in one interview where he was talking about achieving goals, used this building wall example. He said…

“Every day, I am going to lay this brick as perfectly as a brick can be laid. Next time you notice, you have a wall.”

The same is when you are making a (lasting) change. You do it, be every day´s small actions. Next time you notice, you changed your life and you’re not even thinking of going back.

Look at Bill Gates for example. He started Microsoft when he was 19.

He didn´t one day wake up and said…I am going to create one of the biggest companies in the world and one day later, he was the richest man in the world. It doesn´t work like that.

Whether you want to create something, develop a new habit or change your current ones, you need to do it consistently, by small actions.

When you are focused on your next small step toward your change, you´re much more motivated, driven and confident, then if you are focused on a goal, that´s 10 years ahead of you.

So, the last tip for you is to create momentum.

Divide your big goal, into smaller, easier achievable goals and try to experience a small win, every single day.

Then, you become addicted to your new lifestyle and the change you created is going to last forever.

Conclusion:

Many people all over the world, don´t care about changing their lives. They are satisfied with who they are and how good their life is.

But, you, since you read this article to the end, you want something more. You know, that progress equals happiness.

There´s a misconception that making a change in any area of your life is hard. I disagree because it´s hard only if you don´t know how to do it.

But, that´s not your case anymore. I know, that if you use these 5 Steps I shared with you today, making a change that last is not going to be as hard as before.

But, please, do not procrastinate. Procrastination is a killer of changes and dreams.

Take action today. If you want to become healthier, start exercising today. If your goal is to become wealthier, start developing skills today.

If you want to dive deeper into a topic of… How to reach your goals, I created a FREE 4-Day Training that shows you 4 absolutely necessary skills you need to develop for reaching any goal you want and step-by-step plan how to do it.

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Comment Below – What is the area of life, you want to change?


My name is Patrik. I live in Slovakia and I am owner of dayprov.com. Dayprov is about Everyday improvements in our lives. You will find here tips about success, motivation, personal development and anything you want. Your recommendations for new interesting blog posts you would like to read about send to patrik@dayprov.com.
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